Out for a Stroll
The other day I was driving through our old neighborhood. It is essentially where Jer and I began our life together. We lived there, got married there, you get the picture. Our time there flashed through my head as I drove down the familiar streets and stopped in front of our old house. For some reason or another, we hadn't been in the area in months.
As I drove past the baseball field at the high school I saw 1, then 2, then 3, then 4 boys out for a stroll with their mom...who was, as all mom's do, bringing up the rear and letting the boys do there thing. At first I didn't realize she was with them. As my eyes immediately jumped from boy to boy, walking, wheelchair, walking, wheelchair. I suddenly felt my heart race and found myself quite distracted from my task at hand (driving). While I wasn't gawking, I certainly was looking.
I have no idea if all 4 were her kiddos. Here was this Mom, just walking along. The kids walking and racing their chairs between each other, laughing and giggling. Such beauty. Such normalcy.
I felt the sudden urge to pull over, jump out of my car, and ask her a million questions. I wanted to know that question most Special Needs Mom's cringe over...
How do you do it?
Although, when I ask it, I think it has a totally different meaning than when a strangers asks me. (My answer is, by the way, I don't know, we just do) I wanted to know how this beauty that was before my eyes was created. I wanted to ask here their stories (because there is always a story) and how far they have come from X,Y, and Z. I wanted to talk to a woman who is in the same club that I am. A Mom who just KNOWS.
For me, being a Special Needs Mom is often isolating and incredibly lonely. Don't get me wrong, its not all bad, but it is what it is. It is amazing to me how there are so many women on my team and I don't even know it. Its a secret club, that really, needs absolutely no words. We are instantly bonded by our differences and similarities. Another stroke of beauty if you ask me.
I thought about those boys for the rest of that day. I thought about how that beauty could be possible with a brother or sister for AJ and how sad and frustrated I become when thinking about expanding our family. I thought about how absolutely amazing I was in the right place at the right time to see such beauty. How I should have gotten out and talked to that Mom and her boys. We could have shared beautiful stories and I would have left with a feeling of peace in my heart. How do I know? I always do when I meet or talk to another SN Mom. Its just the way it is.
When I'm in the area again, I know I will be looking for that scene of beauty. Maybe, just maybe, I'll pull over this time...