Last December, two of my fellow adoptive Mom's came to my Dad's visitation. Their presence calmed my heart and brought me to tears. They had never met my Dad, but were there for me. AJ was diagnosed with hearing loss while my Dad was in the hospital, and diagnosed with cerebral palsy just hours before my Dad passed. It was a very trying time, and quite honestly, I felt numb. I didn't know what to process first. While hearing "I'm so sorry for your loss", we were also hearing "Is he completely deaf?" "I'm so sorry to hear about AJ." "Did you know?" "How could they do this to you?"
One of the Mom's gave me a small bag with two CDs in it, along with a note that I still have tucked in the CD case. "He's My Son" by Mark Schultz was on the first CD I listened to. She had written to listen to the song with a box of tissues. I followed her directions, plopping myself down on the living room carpet, box in hand, and pressed play.
This song has a very special meaning to me. AJ IS my son. I am doing all I can for him, but know that I/we cannot do this alone. I do indeed, try not to cry. I have often asked God if he hears my prayers for AJ, for our family. I watch AJ walk and see him working so hard against his body just to do such a simple daily task. Simple to you and I. I see him frustrated that he cannot communicate to me what he wants. I wish I could take his place. I wish I could make things easier (not totally easy), but just a pinch easier for him. I wish I could make all the appointments, therapies, constant work go away, at least for just a moment. I pray for his strength, his well-being, his success, his failures, his present, his future. We are so thankful he is here with us. He's OUR SON.